Xenon's Seventh Circle

Yes, I have been watching television again, and I apologise wholeheartedly. Before we get to all of that, though, a little public service announcement. If you feel lacking in books or amusement in your life, fear not, for I am a helpful soul, and come bearing recommendations. Well, a recommendation. Well, perhaps not so much a recommendation as a warning, but nonetheless. The book is called The Time Tunnel, written by Murray Leinster, and it claims to be the novelisation of the exciting new television series by Irwin Allen. It features two scientists who travel back in time, but there the resemblance to the TV series ends, for the book is a catastrophe of epic proportions. The TV series is not exactly Shakespeare, admittedly, but it is (mostly) entertaining. Mind you, the heroes do make it home at the end of the book, whereas Irwin Allen had them hurtling around in ever decreasing circles in time for ever. Which is an even less satisfying end for a time travel series than Quantum Leap's.

So, why is the book so bad? Well, to begin with, it tells us that the Time Tunnel project is a wonderful thing in the hands of the Americans, because they can be trusted to guard history. To rewrite it if necessary, in keeping with the great vision of sixties America. This is even more terrifying a notion than Captain Kirk trying to convince the entire galaxy that it should remodel itself in the image of, again, sixties America - albeit sixties America pretending to be the 23rd century. "You can trust us to only rewrite the bits of history that need rewriting!" This gobsmacking bit of self-importance is only one stage of this book's endless hilarities, however. There's a female character in the story. In the TV series she's a physicist, although admittedly they do veer rather between respecting her training and patronising her horribly. In the book I don't know quite what she is. A secretary or something. She knows that she can't be trusted to think sensibly, anyway, given that she's only a woman, so she slips away to make coffee and sandwiches for the menfolk when things get tense. And yes, the text does actually say that. I shudder to think what would have happened if there had been any black characters.

I don't really know why I'm regaling you with all of this, unless it's to underline the fact that, no matter how bad the TV series gets (and it does have one or two dubious moments), it could have been a whole lot worse. Instead of manic Americans trying to rule the world - because hey, sixties America was perfect, right? - we get Doug and Tony, free-falling through space, time, and the 20th Century Fox film library, and trying not to get killed by everything they meet. They're not without fault, admittedly, but they're a good deal better than they are in book form. Which is something of an understatement.

( ... )

Yes, I am going to wax lyrical about Voyagers! again. Torchwood is over for the forseeable future (be sure to make it even more of a hit, America, Canada and Australia. I want a season four). So for now we're back to Jon-Erik Hexum. Or I am, anyway.

( Well, it's really rather a nice place to be... )

I ran out of episodes of Adventurer. This left me worryingly bereft of swashbuckly things to watch, until I suddenly remembered Voyagers!. Hurrah! An entire boxset of swashlebucking! I bought it in the sales just after Christmas, and then forgot all about it in the general excitement of Laramie and various other things. I rescued it from the bottom of the pile, anyways, and have now watched the first few episodes. And it's so much fun! It's one that I've been wanting to watch for years, but to the best of my knowledge it never aired in the UK (or not in my region, anyway). It stars Jon-Erik Hexum, though, so it's one that I always hoped would get released one day.

( Worth the two-decade-long wait, anyhow. Mostly. )