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The Time Tunnel comes to an end in a tangle of super-intelligent fish and things exploding. Don't end, Time Tunnel. Maybe there's some more episodes hidden somewhere that only Irwin Allen has seen?
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King Arthur, and as much silver shiny stuff as you could possibly want, in a pair of episodes that manage to veer between the brilliant and the insanely daft more alarmingly than ever. You do love to drive me nuts, don't you, Irwin.
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In which our heroes encounter shiny silver beings; do battle against terrorists, Mongols and each other; and deal with romance, philosophy and a profusion of things going boom.
I want a time machine. It looks like so much fun.
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I want a time machine. It looks like so much fun.
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In episodes twenty-two and twenty-three, The Time Tunnel suddenly turns into a show tailor-made for me, and comes up with just about everything that I could want. That anybody could want, really. If there's anybody alive who doesn't think that pirates and cowboys are just about the most excitingest things ever, then they're probably somebody confused and disillusioned, and soon to see the error of their ways. Oh yes.
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The Time Tunnel finds religion in a duet of episodes that both centre around idols and icons. This is both a good and a bad thing. As ever, the worst failings are a result of being hauled back to time tunnel HQ every five minutes; but that's not to say that the plotlines can't dig themselves into holes every so often as well.
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It's Irwin Allen. The silver paint was bound to come out at some point. I just wish he didn't go quite so nuts with the spangles.
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What is it about travelling in time that leads to a compulsion to wear silly hats? Doug and Tony's willingness to play with the dressing up box never wanes, but you do have to wonder sometimes what leads them to agree to those hats.
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The time tunnel has some kind of Western fixation, it must have. Naturally I approve of this wholeheartedly. Who can dislike a show that mixes sci-fi, Westerns and enthusiastic silliness, with James Darren and lots of explosions? The command crew have way outstayed their welcome, though. I'm beginning to wish great violence upon each one of them.
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Everything's gone French for episodes nine and ten of The Time Tunnel. This means a fascinating mix of genuine accents, and some rather splendid comedy ones. It also means that the boys get to play dress up again, which as we know by now is one of Tony's favourite hobbies. Lately I've been getting the impression that he likes being lost in time. By the end of episode ten, I'm quite convinced of it.
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Doug and Tony are truly remarkable. As they fall from disaster to disaster and catastrophe to catastrophe, not only do they never once appear fazed, but their astounding stores of knowledge never seem to fail them. Whatever the subject, one of them is an expert in it. Doug's a Vulcanologist, Tony speaks fluent Malay. Why Malay?! Is this a language often taught in American schools, or is it just another of the things that Doctors of Physics pick up, alongside combat techniques and escapology?
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I like James Darren. I don't know what it is about him and his Amazing Green Pullover Of Time, but they make a very engaging duo. He (and the green pullover as well, possibly) should be on TV more. Actually, come to think of it, he should be the next Doctor Who. He'd be awesome fighting Daleks, he really would.
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Yes, I have been watching television again, and I apologise wholeheartedly. Before we get to all of that, though, a little public service announcement. If you feel lacking in books or amusement in your life, fear not, for I am a helpful soul, and come bearing recommendations. Well, a recommendation. Well, perhaps not so much a recommendation as a warning, but nonetheless. The book is called The Time Tunnel, written by Murray Leinster, and it claims to be the novelisation of the exciting new television series by Irwin Allen. It features two scientists who travel back in time, but there the resemblance to the TV series ends, for the book is a catastrophe of epic proportions. The TV series is not exactly Shakespeare, admittedly, but it is (mostly) entertaining. Mind you, the heroes do make it home at the end of the book, whereas Irwin Allen had them hurtling around in ever decreasing circles in time for ever. Which is an even less satisfying end for a time travel series than Quantum Leap's.
So, why is the book so bad? Well, to begin with, it tells us that the Time Tunnel project is a wonderful thing in the hands of the Americans, because they can be trusted to guard history. To rewrite it if necessary, in keeping with the great vision of sixties America. This is even more terrifying a notion than Captain Kirk trying to convince the entire galaxy that it should remodel itself in the image of, again, sixties America - albeit sixties America pretending to be the 23rd century. "You can trust us to only rewrite the bits of history that need rewriting!" This gobsmacking bit of self-importance is only one stage of this book's endless hilarities, however. There's a female character in the story. In the TV series she's a physicist, although admittedly they do veer rather between respecting her training and patronising her horribly. In the book I don't know quite what she is. A secretary or something. She knows that she can't be trusted to think sensibly, anyway, given that she's only a woman, so she slips away to make coffee and sandwiches for the menfolk when things get tense. And yes, the text does actually say that. I shudder to think what would have happened if there had been any black characters.
I don't really know why I'm regaling you with all of this, unless it's to underline the fact that, no matter how bad the TV series gets (and it does have one or two dubious moments), it could have been a whole lot worse. Instead of manic Americans trying to rule the world - because hey, sixties America was perfect, right? - we get Doug and Tony, free-falling through space, time, and the 20th Century Fox film library, and trying not to get killed by everything they meet. They're not without fault, admittedly, but they're a good deal better than they are in book form. Which is something of an understatement.
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So, why is the book so bad? Well, to begin with, it tells us that the Time Tunnel project is a wonderful thing in the hands of the Americans, because they can be trusted to guard history. To rewrite it if necessary, in keeping with the great vision of sixties America. This is even more terrifying a notion than Captain Kirk trying to convince the entire galaxy that it should remodel itself in the image of, again, sixties America - albeit sixties America pretending to be the 23rd century. "You can trust us to only rewrite the bits of history that need rewriting!" This gobsmacking bit of self-importance is only one stage of this book's endless hilarities, however. There's a female character in the story. In the TV series she's a physicist, although admittedly they do veer rather between respecting her training and patronising her horribly. In the book I don't know quite what she is. A secretary or something. She knows that she can't be trusted to think sensibly, anyway, given that she's only a woman, so she slips away to make coffee and sandwiches for the menfolk when things get tense. And yes, the text does actually say that. I shudder to think what would have happened if there had been any black characters.
I don't really know why I'm regaling you with all of this, unless it's to underline the fact that, no matter how bad the TV series gets (and it does have one or two dubious moments), it could have been a whole lot worse. Instead of manic Americans trying to rule the world - because hey, sixties America was perfect, right? - we get Doug and Tony, free-falling through space, time, and the 20th Century Fox film library, and trying not to get killed by everything they meet. They're not without fault, admittedly, but they're a good deal better than they are in book form. Which is something of an understatement.
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