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Slave traders are a weird bunch. Not something you might ordinarily ponder, but bear with me. Or... well, whatever.
At this point, I would usually waffle at length about Primeval. But I can't, as I didn't watch it. It was on too early, so I couldn't see it at the time; so I was going to download it, but I forgot. And now I couldn't be bothered, so "Primeval 2x07 - Future beasties, giant scorpions, and everything else as well for that matter", will have to wait. Probably indefinitely. Maybe there'll be some news about series three that will renew my interest in the show, as right now it's registering pretty low, but I have to say that I doubt it. Series two was not what I want to be watching, and I see no evidence that series three will be turning things back to where I want them to be.
Anyway, been watching Jack Holborn again, since somebody kindly released it on DVD (though I do wish they'd thought to include chaptering, but there you go), and I've just reached the bit where the spectacularly peril-prone Sir John gets captured by slave traders. As you do. And it led me to thinking (probably because this time I'm getting to see it properly, without any bits missing). Say you're a slave trader. You make your living by capturing people, lugging them to the coast of Africa, and then selling them to people who stick them on ships and cart them off overseas. It's the eighteenth century, so there's still a lot of white slaves in the West Indies - slavery isn't all about black people yet. So if you happen to see some white bloke wandering about, you figure you might just as well grab him too. So far so logical. Except... the white slaves in the West Indies are a bit rubbish, really. They're not used to the heat, and they tend to cave in pretty quickly. They don't fetch good prices. You still might make a bit of money on the deal, though, and you're not exactly going to lose anything by trying. So fair enough, bash him on the head and bring him along.
What do you do, though, when the bloke in question has a bundle of priceless jewels on him? And a big ring on one finger? Not to mention the gold buckles on his shoes. Sir John has all these things, and he certainly doesn't have the jewels anymore when he's been rescued by Jack and co. He does still quite remarkably have his gold buckles and his signet ring intact, but the bundle of jewels have gone. So presumably the slave traders took them. And they really needed to make the extra one pound fifty that they could get from selling him at the docks? I'm sorry Leon Garfield (and I realise I'm a little late in suggesting this), but wouldn't the slave traders just take the jewels and leave the bloke? Or better still, take the jewels, the ring and the golden buckles, and leave the bloke? Where's the sense in taking him as well? It's hardly going to up the profit by a grand margin. Actually it did as it turned out, as there's that sex mad weirdo at the docks who's desperate to buy him to satisfy his flogging fetish, but that's a different story - or a different episode, at any rate. Didn't know that at the time, though, did they. Neither did they know that a small boy was going to turn up and throw jewels all over the place in a mad bid to get his danger magnet back. You really would be safer without him, Jack, as the massive fight and accompanying large fire that pop up three seconds after you get reunited would seem to indicate.
And I've completely lost the thread of what I was talking about. Basically, if you're a slave trader (well, it's always possible that some of you are), don't get greedy. If you find a bloke with a pocketful of jewels, take the jewels and leave the bloke. Otherwise you will be shipwrecked in a storm, and you will drown. Fact.
Um... yeah. I'm off now. 'Bye. :)
At this point, I would usually waffle at length about Primeval. But I can't, as I didn't watch it. It was on too early, so I couldn't see it at the time; so I was going to download it, but I forgot. And now I couldn't be bothered, so "Primeval 2x07 - Future beasties, giant scorpions, and everything else as well for that matter", will have to wait. Probably indefinitely. Maybe there'll be some news about series three that will renew my interest in the show, as right now it's registering pretty low, but I have to say that I doubt it. Series two was not what I want to be watching, and I see no evidence that series three will be turning things back to where I want them to be.
Anyway, been watching Jack Holborn again, since somebody kindly released it on DVD (though I do wish they'd thought to include chaptering, but there you go), and I've just reached the bit where the spectacularly peril-prone Sir John gets captured by slave traders. As you do. And it led me to thinking (probably because this time I'm getting to see it properly, without any bits missing). Say you're a slave trader. You make your living by capturing people, lugging them to the coast of Africa, and then selling them to people who stick them on ships and cart them off overseas. It's the eighteenth century, so there's still a lot of white slaves in the West Indies - slavery isn't all about black people yet. So if you happen to see some white bloke wandering about, you figure you might just as well grab him too. So far so logical. Except... the white slaves in the West Indies are a bit rubbish, really. They're not used to the heat, and they tend to cave in pretty quickly. They don't fetch good prices. You still might make a bit of money on the deal, though, and you're not exactly going to lose anything by trying. So fair enough, bash him on the head and bring him along.
What do you do, though, when the bloke in question has a bundle of priceless jewels on him? And a big ring on one finger? Not to mention the gold buckles on his shoes. Sir John has all these things, and he certainly doesn't have the jewels anymore when he's been rescued by Jack and co. He does still quite remarkably have his gold buckles and his signet ring intact, but the bundle of jewels have gone. So presumably the slave traders took them. And they really needed to make the extra one pound fifty that they could get from selling him at the docks? I'm sorry Leon Garfield (and I realise I'm a little late in suggesting this), but wouldn't the slave traders just take the jewels and leave the bloke? Or better still, take the jewels, the ring and the golden buckles, and leave the bloke? Where's the sense in taking him as well? It's hardly going to up the profit by a grand margin. Actually it did as it turned out, as there's that sex mad weirdo at the docks who's desperate to buy him to satisfy his flogging fetish, but that's a different story - or a different episode, at any rate. Didn't know that at the time, though, did they. Neither did they know that a small boy was going to turn up and throw jewels all over the place in a mad bid to get his danger magnet back. You really would be safer without him, Jack, as the massive fight and accompanying large fire that pop up three seconds after you get reunited would seem to indicate.
And I've completely lost the thread of what I was talking about. Basically, if you're a slave trader (well, it's always possible that some of you are), don't get greedy. If you find a bloke with a pocketful of jewels, take the jewels and leave the bloke. Otherwise you will be shipwrecked in a storm, and you will drown. Fact.
Um... yeah. I'm off now. 'Bye. :)
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