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There are certain Doctor Who stories that pretty much everybody is united in hating. "Underworld"; "The Long Game"; anything by Pip and Jane Baker. Most of the others have their fans and their detractors in fairly equal measure; but some, everybody just hates. One of these is "Time-Flight" - and I have to confess that I've always rather liked it. It's rubbish, let's be quite clear on that. Bits of it make no sense at all, and some of the dialogue is just plain awful - but it's entertaining rubbish. And now I haz it on shiny DVD, which is good. For starters, Peter Davison adventures on DVD mean Peter Davison audio commentaries, which are always entertaining - though boy has Janet Fielding got her bitchy hat on for this one. I usually find her snarking funny, but in this case she needs to be told to shut up. Maybe she's just annoyed because Tegan got left behind at the end of this story, and Five and Nyssa went off to have lots of adventures on their own. ;)
It all starts off okay. I don't think even poor "Time-Flight"'s fiercest detractors could find problems in the beginning. Concorde (well, one of them) goes missing, just before the TARDIS lands at Heathrow in 1982 - coincidentally pretty much the very place that the Doctor has been trying and failing to get Tegan back to ever since she accidentally came aboard. Nobody's in much mood to celebrate, though; partly because I think she's finally given up wanting to be taken there, and partly because Adric just died at the end of "Earthshock", and the cast is busy trying to pretend that they're upset. Poor Adric. When he died I was six, and heartbroken. Now I'm thirty-three, and rather more inclined to find it amusing. :D Anyway, the Doctor dashes off in search of a copy of the Times, looking for cricket scores - a lovely scene, and fabulously at odds with the maudlin atmosphere of seconds earlier. Adric's dead, no we can't change history to save him, never dare ask me that again - woo, cricket! Needless to say, this brings him into contact with airport security, splendidly merry and relaxed as they were in those long ago days, and he's immediately eager to solve the mystery of the missing Concorde. What I particularly love about this is how eager British Airways is to give him another Concorde to go after the first one in. They also give him the world's butchest flight crew (not) to help him in his investigations; a trio inclined to face all adversity with a barely suppressed fit of the giggles. I don't know who most of them are, but all that really matters is that one of them is Michael Cashman, who is always hugely endearing. He just is. The Doctor tells them that they've flown through some sort of time warp, which doesn't seem to worry them unduly; only for them to apparently land right where and when they started from. They realise that something is wrong only when they suddenly find that they're stood in a piece of very bad CSO. For we're not in Heathrow anymore, Toto. Instead we're in a studio in the depths of the BBC. Beware the polystyrene, for it will get you.
I guess it's at this point that the story really begins to go wrong. I won't fault the budget, the FX or the sets. That's just the way things were. A good story doesn't need a massive budget, and I've watched and loved enough cheap episodes of Doctor Who and Blake's 7 not to give a toss about such things. Wobbly scenery, dodgy CSO - who cares. When they're coupled with a story that's just downright peculiar, though, it does feel a bit as though the whole thing is an exercise in giving the production team enough rope with which to hang themselves. Anyway then - the crew of the first Concorde is nearby, convinced that they're going about their usual business, when what they're really doing is trying to break open a spaceship. Their work is overseen by Khalid, a creepy sorcerer of uncertain origin, who... Oh, forget it. Their work is overseen by the Master in a weird disguise. Let's not pretend that he's convincing anybody. The real issue is why he bothers to disguise himself in the first place, unless he's reached the point where he just assumes that the Doctor is always going to turn up, wherever he goes. Either that or he's noticed the cameras. He does lots of chanting, anyway, and makes swirly things happen. The Doctor gets menaced by some walking rocks and some bubbles, and then Nyssa also gets bothered by the bubbles, and then she gets an attack of the psychics and hares off with Tegan. Not clear on the function of the walking rocks or the bubbles, but the latter do at least look quite pretty. Nyssa's in a hurry to find a secret route into the spaceship that all the flight crew and passengers of Concorde 1 are trying to break into. A ghostly Adric tries to stop her, along with a number of alarmingly tatty props from earlier adventures, but she and Tegan hurtle on through regardless. Not sure why, as they don't do a lot when they get there other than faint. Meanwhile the Doctor and his air crew companions have reached Khalid's stronghold, and put on a splendid show of not recognising him. The Master giggles from beneath his strange, papier-mâché head, before arguing with the Doctor, and threatening poor Michael Cashman and his friends with various deadly swirlies. Not sure why. He can't honestly feel that he's in any way threatened by the world's least likely flight crew, unless he's afraid that their habit of giggling at inappropriate moments will rob him of his gravitas. And then he falls over and froths at the mouth, all green slime and bubbles, before revealing that he is - the Master! And everybody says "Gosh! You're the Master! We were completely fooled!" at which point episode two ends.
And that's it for the first half. So far the Master appears to have kidnapped two Concordes full of people, just so that he can hypnotise them into opening a spaceship for him - all whilst wearing a strange and inexplicable disguise that suddenly spontaneously combusts in a flood of green slime as soon as the story is in need of a suitable cliffhanger. Absolutely nothing seems to happen for any discernable reason, and most of the cast look permanently baffled. The ones that aren't baffled are frequently giggling, save the regulars - Nyssa, who seems to be fainting most of the time; Tegan who seems to be angry most of the time, and then fainting the rest of the time; and the Doctor, who battles gamely on, doing his best as always. Five is always worth watching. I've never known Peter Davison give a bad performance, and even when surrounded by an unfathomable plot and insane set pieces, all spectacularly badly over-lit, he's still as good as ever. And he has Michael Cashman with him, so that's good too; even if the latter does seem to keep darting off camera as often as possible, for a quick bout of giggling. It's all completely mad, and I suppose I can understand why it's so unpopular. If you're in the right mood, though, it's good fun really. And hey - the Master's not a jibbering loon with drums in his head, so that's got to be good, right?!
The Doctor is attacked by some walking rocks.
Before being bullied by a gang of bubbles.
The bubbles then have a go at Nyssa too.
Khalid, master magician.
Papier-mâché head, serious skin condition, or totally convincing disguise?
The Doctor and Khalid argue about some plot point or other.
The lovely Michael Cashman, battling both a Masterful attack of hypnosis, and another fit of the giggles.
More deadly walking rocks of uncertain purpose.
A swirly thing! A swirly thing! Look out everyone, it's a swirly thing!
The lovely Michael Cashman and chums, stoically facing a deadly attack from the Lightbulb Of Doom.
Aw. Poor Adric.
Not sure, but I think the Doctor is celebrating Nyssa and Tegan having successfully fainted.
Khalid conjures up great terrors with which to threaten Michael Cashman and co, as revenge for their giggling.
Heady stuff. :)
It all starts off okay. I don't think even poor "Time-Flight"'s fiercest detractors could find problems in the beginning. Concorde (well, one of them) goes missing, just before the TARDIS lands at Heathrow in 1982 - coincidentally pretty much the very place that the Doctor has been trying and failing to get Tegan back to ever since she accidentally came aboard. Nobody's in much mood to celebrate, though; partly because I think she's finally given up wanting to be taken there, and partly because Adric just died at the end of "Earthshock", and the cast is busy trying to pretend that they're upset. Poor Adric. When he died I was six, and heartbroken. Now I'm thirty-three, and rather more inclined to find it amusing. :D Anyway, the Doctor dashes off in search of a copy of the Times, looking for cricket scores - a lovely scene, and fabulously at odds with the maudlin atmosphere of seconds earlier. Adric's dead, no we can't change history to save him, never dare ask me that again - woo, cricket! Needless to say, this brings him into contact with airport security, splendidly merry and relaxed as they were in those long ago days, and he's immediately eager to solve the mystery of the missing Concorde. What I particularly love about this is how eager British Airways is to give him another Concorde to go after the first one in. They also give him the world's butchest flight crew (not) to help him in his investigations; a trio inclined to face all adversity with a barely suppressed fit of the giggles. I don't know who most of them are, but all that really matters is that one of them is Michael Cashman, who is always hugely endearing. He just is. The Doctor tells them that they've flown through some sort of time warp, which doesn't seem to worry them unduly; only for them to apparently land right where and when they started from. They realise that something is wrong only when they suddenly find that they're stood in a piece of very bad CSO. For we're not in Heathrow anymore, Toto. Instead we're in a studio in the depths of the BBC. Beware the polystyrene, for it will get you.
I guess it's at this point that the story really begins to go wrong. I won't fault the budget, the FX or the sets. That's just the way things were. A good story doesn't need a massive budget, and I've watched and loved enough cheap episodes of Doctor Who and Blake's 7 not to give a toss about such things. Wobbly scenery, dodgy CSO - who cares. When they're coupled with a story that's just downright peculiar, though, it does feel a bit as though the whole thing is an exercise in giving the production team enough rope with which to hang themselves. Anyway then - the crew of the first Concorde is nearby, convinced that they're going about their usual business, when what they're really doing is trying to break open a spaceship. Their work is overseen by Khalid, a creepy sorcerer of uncertain origin, who... Oh, forget it. Their work is overseen by the Master in a weird disguise. Let's not pretend that he's convincing anybody. The real issue is why he bothers to disguise himself in the first place, unless he's reached the point where he just assumes that the Doctor is always going to turn up, wherever he goes. Either that or he's noticed the cameras. He does lots of chanting, anyway, and makes swirly things happen. The Doctor gets menaced by some walking rocks and some bubbles, and then Nyssa also gets bothered by the bubbles, and then she gets an attack of the psychics and hares off with Tegan. Not clear on the function of the walking rocks or the bubbles, but the latter do at least look quite pretty. Nyssa's in a hurry to find a secret route into the spaceship that all the flight crew and passengers of Concorde 1 are trying to break into. A ghostly Adric tries to stop her, along with a number of alarmingly tatty props from earlier adventures, but she and Tegan hurtle on through regardless. Not sure why, as they don't do a lot when they get there other than faint. Meanwhile the Doctor and his air crew companions have reached Khalid's stronghold, and put on a splendid show of not recognising him. The Master giggles from beneath his strange, papier-mâché head, before arguing with the Doctor, and threatening poor Michael Cashman and his friends with various deadly swirlies. Not sure why. He can't honestly feel that he's in any way threatened by the world's least likely flight crew, unless he's afraid that their habit of giggling at inappropriate moments will rob him of his gravitas. And then he falls over and froths at the mouth, all green slime and bubbles, before revealing that he is - the Master! And everybody says "Gosh! You're the Master! We were completely fooled!" at which point episode two ends.
And that's it for the first half. So far the Master appears to have kidnapped two Concordes full of people, just so that he can hypnotise them into opening a spaceship for him - all whilst wearing a strange and inexplicable disguise that suddenly spontaneously combusts in a flood of green slime as soon as the story is in need of a suitable cliffhanger. Absolutely nothing seems to happen for any discernable reason, and most of the cast look permanently baffled. The ones that aren't baffled are frequently giggling, save the regulars - Nyssa, who seems to be fainting most of the time; Tegan who seems to be angry most of the time, and then fainting the rest of the time; and the Doctor, who battles gamely on, doing his best as always. Five is always worth watching. I've never known Peter Davison give a bad performance, and even when surrounded by an unfathomable plot and insane set pieces, all spectacularly badly over-lit, he's still as good as ever. And he has Michael Cashman with him, so that's good too; even if the latter does seem to keep darting off camera as often as possible, for a quick bout of giggling. It's all completely mad, and I suppose I can understand why it's so unpopular. If you're in the right mood, though, it's good fun really. And hey - the Master's not a jibbering loon with drums in his head, so that's got to be good, right?!
The Doctor is attacked by some walking rocks.
Before being bullied by a gang of bubbles.
The bubbles then have a go at Nyssa too.
Khalid, master magician.
Papier-mâché head, serious skin condition, or totally convincing disguise?
The Doctor and Khalid argue about some plot point or other.
The lovely Michael Cashman, battling both a Masterful attack of hypnosis, and another fit of the giggles.
More deadly walking rocks of uncertain purpose.
A swirly thing! A swirly thing! Look out everyone, it's a swirly thing!
The lovely Michael Cashman and chums, stoically facing a deadly attack from the Lightbulb Of Doom.
Aw. Poor Adric.
Not sure, but I think the Doctor is celebrating Nyssa and Tegan having successfully fainted.
Khalid conjures up great terrors with which to threaten Michael Cashman and co, as revenge for their giggling.
Heady stuff. :)
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