For some time now, on and off, I've been watching season one of The Bill. It really is outstanding. It degenerated into some terrible parody of itself by the end, I know (I gave up on it in about 1994 - it carried on until 2010, by which time it was completely unrecognisable as the show that it had started out as). Series one dates from 1984 though. Instead of the half-hour-long programme that it was to become, it's an hour long, made for a post-watershed slot, and sharper, harder and grittier than its future self. It also has some fun guest stars. At least one crook came back as a copper a few years later (which fits rather well with the public perception of the Met!) One episode has Sean Bean in his first ever TV role. He doesn't do a lot, but it's a great episode - there's lots of Ted and Mike! Ted and Mike! I'd forgotten how much I used to like them. In short, series one of The Bill is a great way to spend your time, with all its hilariously clunky, 1980s car chases, and its profusion of familiar faces. "Look, it's... her! Her that was Thing, in Whatsit!" For thus you will shout, regularly. So thank you, oh benevolent gods of the Network Pre-Christmas Sale. It's appreciated.
But good though Ted and Mike are, and fun though it was seeing Sean Bean in white jeans (oh, 1980s...) robbing post offices, they are not the reason for the glee. No, that's something else entirely. For there is an episode, and it has a man in it. Throughout the episode he's referred to as a wrong 'un, but remains unseen. And then, finally, he shows up. And proceeds to spend several minutes disassembling police officers with gay abandon. We see the back of his head first. Is it normal and sensible to be able to identify a stuntman in half a second flat by the back of his head and one ear? Who gives a stuff. People of the internet, I give you Tip Tipping breaking things. Happiness. I has it.
But good though Ted and Mike are, and fun though it was seeing Sean Bean in white jeans (oh, 1980s...) robbing post offices, they are not the reason for the glee. No, that's something else entirely. For there is an episode, and it has a man in it. Throughout the episode he's referred to as a wrong 'un, but remains unseen. And then, finally, he shows up. And proceeds to spend several minutes disassembling police officers with gay abandon. We see the back of his head first. Is it normal and sensible to be able to identify a stuntman in half a second flat by the back of his head and one ear? Who gives a stuff. People of the internet, I give you Tip Tipping breaking things. Happiness. I has it.
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