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Well, the electrician came. Took him two hours to tell me what I told him when he first arrived; basically that the wiring's rubbish. It also took seventeen blackouts in the space of ten minutes, plus him electrocuting himself twice; and then he nodded and said that there did seem to be a problem, yes, and that actually maybe I'd been right in the first place. Then he rigged up something temporary, said he'd be back on Thursday, and departed, leaving things worse than they were before he came. There's nothing quite like a professional.
But anyway - "Fragments" is episode 2x12 of my beloved Torchwood, and quite frankly this one's got me pretty much whooping and hollering. There might even be some jiggling and prancing as well. I'm not even entirely sure why. On the face of it, it's just another flashback episode - the bane of my life with those Canadian-made sci-fi shows, that all seem to love the blasted things. Those just re-use old material though of course; and this is all new - shiny, fun, funny, wonderful and new. We have bondage, torture, a psychotic Victorian lesbian tag-team, and a pterodactyl; and that's just for starters. Indeed, it's a pterodactylian rom-com, to an extent. Every rom-com should have a pterodactyl in it; and quite frankly, any that doesn't after this will pale into wretched insignificance.
The flashbacks are designed to show us how Jack got his Torchwood team together - barring Gwen of course, as we already know how she joined the team. A rainy night, a crime scene, a psycho murdering techno-geek with an alien glove that resurrects the dead. You could be forgiven for thinking that it would be hard to top Gwen's Torchwood initiation, but as it turns out it isn't. Not at all, in fact.
We see Jack's tale first. He's arrested by Torchwood, and coerced into working for them, by the afore-mentioned psycho tag-team. I dont remember their names, so hereafter they are Pinky and Perky. One's boss of TW3, and the other is her assistant; and together they rule Cardiff's underworld with an iron fist - and a lot of guns, some chains, electrified nipple clamps and some very pretty hats. Jack begins to work for them on a freelance basis; an understanding that goes on throughout the twentieth century; until one of the 1999 team kills all of his colleagues, blows out his own brains, and leaves Jack in charge of everything. Presumably Pinky and Perky are gone by then, though I like to think of them going on for a fair old while, ruling the roost in a nursing home somewhere, with their bondage games and pretty hats.
Next up is Tosh. She's coerced by persons unknown into stealing secret plans, to save the life of her kidnapped mother. UNIT arrest her, though, and she spends an unspecified amount of time mouldering in a truly ghastly cell in some secret holding facility. Eventually Jack pulls some strings to get her out, on the understanding that she comes to join him in his secret underground lair. So she does. It's certainly better than living in a mediaeval dungeon.
And then there's Ianto. Ianto comes to Cardiff fresh from the destruction of Torchwood London, with his half-Cyber-converted girlfriend to think of, as well as the need for a new job. Presumably it's hard to get a reference when nearly all your colleagues are wiped out in a Cyberman/Dalek war. He sets out to seduce Jack, armed with coffee, some laundry tips, and a stray pterodactyl trapped in a warehouse. Pinky and Perky almost had the edge there, but I think the pterodactyl wins it for Ianto. Jack joins forces with Ianto to capture the pterodactyl, and an unholy alliance is born. I know some people don't buy the Jack/Ianto romance, but I don't care. Forget the romance if you want. They're a great duo anyway, just as friends.
And then finally there's Owen, who's due to be married to a girl who is progressively forgetting who he is, whilst medical science can't tell him why - until suddenly she's dead on a surgical table, with an alien creature revealed inside her cracked-open skull, and Jack trying to clear up the mess. Owen's a shocked and broken wreck, and Jack is the only person who can give his life meaning again. I don't suppose it's easy when all your certainties about the world get obliterated by the sight of alien tentacles erupting from your fiancée's brain. No wonder Owen could be such a dickhead at times last season.
So that's about it then, really - except for the reason for the flashbacks. The gang have been lured to an abandoned building, which promptly explodes, and leaves them buried in the rubble with only their memories for company. They do all survive the experience, however - well, except for Jack, who dies (again); and Owen, who of course is already dead - only to discover that the bombs were set by the ever brilliant Captain John. Yep, the gloriously unhinged former lover of Captain Jack is back, madder than ever, and still in that fabulous jacket. Huzzah! Instinct tells me to look forward very much to next week's episode, then. Sadly all the people who have read spoilers keep telling me that they don't want to see it. "But I don't want to spoil it for you." *Sigh* Guess what, folks. You already did. But I'm going to look forward to it anyway, and bite anybody who tries to tell me anything else. I'm fierce like that. Oh yes.
Shiny things:
Boom!
Pinky and Perky.
Jack in 1899. Sideburns, bondage, torture, Torchwood and lesbians.
Jack is told by the mysterious fortune teller from "Dead Man Walking"
that it'll be the 21st century before his Doctor will be making him a house call.
Tosh languishes in UNIT's answer to Guantanamo Bay.
Ianto pesters Jack for a job -
- before their friendship is sealed by a large, extinct flying reptile.
It's not often you get to use that sentence.
Owen and his fiancée, prior to her untimely death.
Gwen and Rhys find Jack dead in the rubble -
causing Rhys to find out about Jack's bungee rope back from the after life.
Captain John, always out to cause chaos.
Please don't kill him off next week. He's cool. :)
Next week, then, more from Captain John, and hopefully a whole heap of action and adventure. Hurrah!
But anyway - "Fragments" is episode 2x12 of my beloved Torchwood, and quite frankly this one's got me pretty much whooping and hollering. There might even be some jiggling and prancing as well. I'm not even entirely sure why. On the face of it, it's just another flashback episode - the bane of my life with those Canadian-made sci-fi shows, that all seem to love the blasted things. Those just re-use old material though of course; and this is all new - shiny, fun, funny, wonderful and new. We have bondage, torture, a psychotic Victorian lesbian tag-team, and a pterodactyl; and that's just for starters. Indeed, it's a pterodactylian rom-com, to an extent. Every rom-com should have a pterodactyl in it; and quite frankly, any that doesn't after this will pale into wretched insignificance.
The flashbacks are designed to show us how Jack got his Torchwood team together - barring Gwen of course, as we already know how she joined the team. A rainy night, a crime scene, a psycho murdering techno-geek with an alien glove that resurrects the dead. You could be forgiven for thinking that it would be hard to top Gwen's Torchwood initiation, but as it turns out it isn't. Not at all, in fact.
We see Jack's tale first. He's arrested by Torchwood, and coerced into working for them, by the afore-mentioned psycho tag-team. I dont remember their names, so hereafter they are Pinky and Perky. One's boss of TW3, and the other is her assistant; and together they rule Cardiff's underworld with an iron fist - and a lot of guns, some chains, electrified nipple clamps and some very pretty hats. Jack begins to work for them on a freelance basis; an understanding that goes on throughout the twentieth century; until one of the 1999 team kills all of his colleagues, blows out his own brains, and leaves Jack in charge of everything. Presumably Pinky and Perky are gone by then, though I like to think of them going on for a fair old while, ruling the roost in a nursing home somewhere, with their bondage games and pretty hats.
Next up is Tosh. She's coerced by persons unknown into stealing secret plans, to save the life of her kidnapped mother. UNIT arrest her, though, and she spends an unspecified amount of time mouldering in a truly ghastly cell in some secret holding facility. Eventually Jack pulls some strings to get her out, on the understanding that she comes to join him in his secret underground lair. So she does. It's certainly better than living in a mediaeval dungeon.
And then there's Ianto. Ianto comes to Cardiff fresh from the destruction of Torchwood London, with his half-Cyber-converted girlfriend to think of, as well as the need for a new job. Presumably it's hard to get a reference when nearly all your colleagues are wiped out in a Cyberman/Dalek war. He sets out to seduce Jack, armed with coffee, some laundry tips, and a stray pterodactyl trapped in a warehouse. Pinky and Perky almost had the edge there, but I think the pterodactyl wins it for Ianto. Jack joins forces with Ianto to capture the pterodactyl, and an unholy alliance is born. I know some people don't buy the Jack/Ianto romance, but I don't care. Forget the romance if you want. They're a great duo anyway, just as friends.
And then finally there's Owen, who's due to be married to a girl who is progressively forgetting who he is, whilst medical science can't tell him why - until suddenly she's dead on a surgical table, with an alien creature revealed inside her cracked-open skull, and Jack trying to clear up the mess. Owen's a shocked and broken wreck, and Jack is the only person who can give his life meaning again. I don't suppose it's easy when all your certainties about the world get obliterated by the sight of alien tentacles erupting from your fiancée's brain. No wonder Owen could be such a dickhead at times last season.
So that's about it then, really - except for the reason for the flashbacks. The gang have been lured to an abandoned building, which promptly explodes, and leaves them buried in the rubble with only their memories for company. They do all survive the experience, however - well, except for Jack, who dies (again); and Owen, who of course is already dead - only to discover that the bombs were set by the ever brilliant Captain John. Yep, the gloriously unhinged former lover of Captain Jack is back, madder than ever, and still in that fabulous jacket. Huzzah! Instinct tells me to look forward very much to next week's episode, then. Sadly all the people who have read spoilers keep telling me that they don't want to see it. "But I don't want to spoil it for you." *Sigh* Guess what, folks. You already did. But I'm going to look forward to it anyway, and bite anybody who tries to tell me anything else. I'm fierce like that. Oh yes.
Shiny things:
Boom!
Pinky and Perky.
Jack in 1899. Sideburns, bondage, torture, Torchwood and lesbians.
Jack is told by the mysterious fortune teller from "Dead Man Walking"
that it'll be the 21st century before his Doctor will be making him a house call.
Tosh languishes in UNIT's answer to Guantanamo Bay.
Ianto pesters Jack for a job -
- before their friendship is sealed by a large, extinct flying reptile.
It's not often you get to use that sentence.
Owen and his fiancée, prior to her untimely death.
Gwen and Rhys find Jack dead in the rubble -
causing Rhys to find out about Jack's bungee rope back from the after life.
Captain John, always out to cause chaos.
Please don't kill him off next week. He's cool. :)
Next week, then, more from Captain John, and hopefully a whole heap of action and adventure. Hurrah!
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