Primeval, week six, mk ii. Mammoth!

[swordznsorcery]

Yep. A mammoth. A big, trumpetty mammoth. Moreover, a big, trumpetty, shape-changing mammoth. One minute it's the size of a small European country, and the next it fits in the back of a Ford Transit van. Cool. Okay, so I'm exaggerating about the van - it was actually a small lorry. But still...

Mammoth on motorway. Much mayhem ensues. Very daft woman fails to get out of the way, and needs rescuing. Personally I wouldn't have bothered. Her son was fabulous, though. Great performance from some small child whose name I have no idea about, and I think he should join the cast for season three. He was much more use in an emergency than either Cutter or Connor. Anyways, mammoth contained, attention turned to capturing traitors. Said traitor rather cleverer than thought. Turned own attention to murdering Lester, the git. Lester, however, went all Stephen for the afternoon, and took on a future predator all by his lonesome. Well, nearly - he had the mammoth to help out. And there was much rattling of big guns, and some cool and flashy lighting. All of which could have made for a good episode.

But no, because Cutter, as usual nowadays, acted like a pillock and went off half-cocked. He and most of the others found themselves prisoners of Helen and the odious Leek, in a big warehouse somewhere, where lots of animals from different periods are being held captive for some reason that presumably we'll be told next week. Oh, and Stephen tried to be a good guy, but got unravelled at every turn by Helen and her quite possibly sapient cleavage. Poor Stephen. I don't know what the writers have been thinking of this season, but it certainly wasn't good character studies. Cutter has descended into stupidity and dramatic whispering, and Stephen into stupidity and gullibility. He's still my favourite character, obviously; if nothing else, he's fabulously heroic and has big guns. But good grief it's been a trial. Him and Cutter acting like kids the whole time, glaring and glowering and sighing at each other. It's like the Torchwood revamp in reverse. In TW they realised that having a gang that didn't seem to like each other wasn't really attracting the viewers. So they cut back on the angst, added more fun, and made everybody better friends. Now, I loved season one of TW, but even I'll admit that the character dynamic in season two has been that bit better for those changes. Primeval, though, has gone the other way. Close friendships gone, angst levels ratcheted up to 200%. And it's boring. I want the fun back. I'm not sure I want to watch a third series if this is the way it's going. I love the monsters, but please, for heavens sakes cheer these people up. Bring back some fun, bring back the sense that these people want to be together. The trailer makes it look as though Stephen dies next week, in the most clichéd and overused way possible. Well if you must, you must, but for heaven's sakes give me some improvements, because without Stephen, right now I don't have any reason to keep watching. And give me somebody else with amazing magical abilities and big guns, because Connor ain't gonna cut it. Although I might be persuaded by Lester and the mammoth as a tag team. Just.

Despite my reservations, in parts it was an exciting episode. This was mostly because of the scene in the middle when Lester was being menaced by the future predator. Some terrific direction, and a great performance from Ben Miller. A really good scene. The mammoth on the motorway at the beginning was good, too. Abby went off to think about a gameplan, only to come upon a Lotus Elise abandoned in the middle of one of the lanes. This caused me some considerable concern, as I half thought she was going to use it to distract the mammoth. No, not the Elise! Anyway, she actually used it to go tearing off to the nearest zoo for a quart of elephant urine (female flavour). Which leads me to wonder how that conversation went. Presumably she's friends with the head elephant keeper? But does he know what she does for a living? If not it's a bit of an odd request. It's an odd request anyway, but it's an odder one still if you don't have a clue who she is, and she's just turned up at some random zoo.

Can't work out why it took the mammoth so long to crush the car that the annoying woman and Cutter were trapped in. Surely if a mammoth rears up and lands on a car, it's going to be pretty much an ex-car? Anyhow, day saved by annoying woman's cool little son blowing a truck horn, giving Abby enough time to turn up with her useful device for spraying elephant urine. Does she keep one of those handy in case of emergencies? Do zoos supply them on request? At any rate, it worked, and annoying woman's small son managed to trap the mammoth in the back of the truck. And he should definitely join the team. In fact, let's give him his own spin-off. Him, Stephen and the Lotus Elise. And some big guns. Speeding into battle against giant prehistoric lizards every week. I'm liking this plan a disturbing amount.

And in the meantime, Ive rattled on for an embarrassing length of time. To conclude then - some terrific action sequences, and Ben Miller was fabulous. Nice advancement of the conspiracy storyline, and next week's episode looks intriguing - but (and it's a very big but) I am increasingly pissed off by the direction that the show has taken. It's not the show I fell in love with anymore. I knew that the timeline change at the end of season one might turn out to be a problem, and sure enough it has. Losing Claudia turned Nick into the Angstmeister, with the effect that I no longer like him very much. It's turned Stephen into half the man he used to be. It's sucked out a big percentage of the fun, and though I have no idea where things are going next, I'm not excited about series three yet. And I should be. Right now I just want to go back to season one, and cling on to it pathetically, whilst denying that season two is canon. I've enjoyed bits and pieces of the episodes, but the season as a whole... I'm just not sure that it's been worth it. But that, I suppose, is something that I can't decide once and for all until next week.

Pictures, then.


Mammoth On The Motorway.


Hurrah!


I vote this joins the team next season, too.


Small boy. 900% improvement on angsty palaeontologists and annoying students.


Boys, please. Make up, for frak's sake...


Grr.


Go Lester!


Obligatory slo-mo as the future predator goes in for the kill.


Only to be speared by a helpful mammoth.


Lots of animals, and presumably a highly dastardly plan.
I spy a pair of whatever-they-were-raptors, the sabre-tooth, a giant scorpion, an Arthropleura, two future seal things; and in the far cage something indistinct that might be a gorgonopsid. Though it's in a cage with something else that hasn't been eaten, so possibly not. All making for an interesting season finale next week. Subdued enthusiasm, though. Basically, whatever happens, I just want it to be fun again.

And I want Stephen in season three.