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So, a rubbish season of True Blood ended rubbishly, which I suppose was predictable. Then I nearly forgave it for being so bad when the last five minutes hinted that I'll be getting Russell Edgington back for season five, as well as Eric and Bill going on the run together from their vampire overlords. An undead road movie would be good. Or an undead "Road" movie, even. Eric can be Bing, and Bill can be Bob, and Sookie can be Dorothy Lamour. It could work. I hope they give Pam something decent to do in season five though, as this is getting ridiculous.
And then a new series started, which stars Richard Alpert and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, although so far it's perilously thin on vampires. This probably isn't supposed to be a surprise. Buffy plays two sisters. Sister 1 accidentally killed Sister 2's young son, then turned alcoholic and ran away to become a stripper, before witnessing a murder. Sister 2 then pretended to forgive her everything, and invited her over for tea, before faking her own suicide on the assumption that Sister 1 would immediately take over her life (Why? They're identical twins. Why would the hugely entertainingly evil-looking murderer not easily get them mixed up? The whole point is that everybody else has). Then Sister 2, who hasn't forgiven Sister 1 anything, puts a hit out on Sister 1 so that everybody will think that she herself is dead, and then she'll be free to skip off into the sunset and get murdered by the hitmen who are after Sister 1. At least I think that's what's happening. There seem to be an awful lot of hitmen running about, anyway. Also, since when was Ioan Gruffudd old enough to have a daughter Buffy's age?! Or the age that my brain tells me Buffy is, anyway, which isn't quite the same as the age that Buffy actually is. She's not called Buffy in this, by the way, but her name begins with a B, which is practically the same thing. Richard's not called Richard, either, but then you can never trust him to tell the truth, so he might just be pretending. Although his surname in this is Machado, which is an island. Not a secret one housing a sparkly magic pixie who lives in a big stone foot, admittedly, but still. And I haven't seen any polar bears yet.
In two minds about this one, then. It's insanely stylised so far, both sisters have spectacularly wooden boyfriends, and in the first ten minutes it managed some of the worst back projection that I've ever seen. Except it's not back projection anymore, but I'm not as good on the technicalities of modern SFX, so bear with me. Either way, it was truly awful. It's like directors think that they can throw CGI around willy-nilly, and it will always look real. It never does, though. It always, always looks like CGI, wherever you put it. And this was two Buffies on a boat that was bouncing around in front of some hilariously unreal sea. I don't know what it was that Buffy 1 dived into, but that wasn't the sea either. I think it may have been a small tank floating in some cartoon water. It looked rubbish, whatever it was. They also relied far too much on computers for the scenes where the two Buffies interacted. The entire room that they were in looked fake. Split-screen worked perfectly well sixty years ago, but they can't pull it off realistically now?! Seriously, enough with the CGI.
So. Yeah. On the one hand, interesting plot and potential for good action. On the other hand, it really needs to stop trying to win art design awards for every single shot. Also, pretending to be your identical twin sister when there's a killer after you has to be the silliest plan ever. And since it's the premise for the entire series, this could easily become an issue.
Have to wait and see how it unfolds, I guess.
And then a new series started, which stars Richard Alpert and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, although so far it's perilously thin on vampires. This probably isn't supposed to be a surprise. Buffy plays two sisters. Sister 1 accidentally killed Sister 2's young son, then turned alcoholic and ran away to become a stripper, before witnessing a murder. Sister 2 then pretended to forgive her everything, and invited her over for tea, before faking her own suicide on the assumption that Sister 1 would immediately take over her life (Why? They're identical twins. Why would the hugely entertainingly evil-looking murderer not easily get them mixed up? The whole point is that everybody else has). Then Sister 2, who hasn't forgiven Sister 1 anything, puts a hit out on Sister 1 so that everybody will think that she herself is dead, and then she'll be free to skip off into the sunset and get murdered by the hitmen who are after Sister 1. At least I think that's what's happening. There seem to be an awful lot of hitmen running about, anyway. Also, since when was Ioan Gruffudd old enough to have a daughter Buffy's age?! Or the age that my brain tells me Buffy is, anyway, which isn't quite the same as the age that Buffy actually is. She's not called Buffy in this, by the way, but her name begins with a B, which is practically the same thing. Richard's not called Richard, either, but then you can never trust him to tell the truth, so he might just be pretending. Although his surname in this is Machado, which is an island. Not a secret one housing a sparkly magic pixie who lives in a big stone foot, admittedly, but still. And I haven't seen any polar bears yet.
In two minds about this one, then. It's insanely stylised so far, both sisters have spectacularly wooden boyfriends, and in the first ten minutes it managed some of the worst back projection that I've ever seen. Except it's not back projection anymore, but I'm not as good on the technicalities of modern SFX, so bear with me. Either way, it was truly awful. It's like directors think that they can throw CGI around willy-nilly, and it will always look real. It never does, though. It always, always looks like CGI, wherever you put it. And this was two Buffies on a boat that was bouncing around in front of some hilariously unreal sea. I don't know what it was that Buffy 1 dived into, but that wasn't the sea either. I think it may have been a small tank floating in some cartoon water. It looked rubbish, whatever it was. They also relied far too much on computers for the scenes where the two Buffies interacted. The entire room that they were in looked fake. Split-screen worked perfectly well sixty years ago, but they can't pull it off realistically now?! Seriously, enough with the CGI.
So. Yeah. On the one hand, interesting plot and potential for good action. On the other hand, it really needs to stop trying to win art design awards for every single shot. Also, pretending to be your identical twin sister when there's a killer after you has to be the silliest plan ever. And since it's the premise for the entire series, this could easily become an issue.
Have to wait and see how it unfolds, I guess.
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